Other Peoples Children by Lisa Delpit

I found this reading to be a bit tedious and wasn't sure I got the right message until reading the posts of others.  I'm torn as to whether I agree or not.  Why should education have different rules for different groups.  The main goal is to succeed and do well.  Delpit suggests that kids are failing,  because they don't understand the cultural codes? I educate my students how I want my daughter to be educated.  I expect the same thing from all of them regardless of race, or position in society.  Wouldn't every parent want that?  (Pg21) They just don't listen well.  No, they listen, but they don't hear.  This was stated by a black woman teacher discussing with her white fellow teachers about how to best organize reading instruction to best serve students of color.  My question is, if we continue to separate them, by color and upbringing, aren't we continuing to perpetuate the problem of inequality and lack of power.  I understand that Delpit is pointing out some cultural patterns in speech, language and style that are quite different across races and classes.  And I understand that they have a stong impact on teaching and learing in the classroom, but students, all students, should be taught and given, the skills to be successful in this world, regardless of where a child comes from.
   It seems like Delpit spoke with only angry black men and women.  Maybe I can't see the problem, but stating that (not Delpit) pg. 22, "and when I get black kids, I just try to undo the damage they did (white teachers  This is absurd, this is part of the problem.  You can't keep the races apart, and you can't teach them differently.  Isn't that disempowering them.  Making them feel different, having them know that they can't learn like the white kids.  This only flames the fires of injustice and prejudice.  If one is that passionate about the subject don't stop fighting, don't silence the dialogue. 
   Pg.25. 3rd aspect of power - The rules of the culture of power are a reflection of the rules of the culture of those who have power.- This means that success in instituitions- schools, work places and so on- is predicatged upon acquisition of the culture of those who are in power.  Children from middle-class homes tend to do better in school than those from non middle=class homes because the culture of the school is based on the culture of the upper and middle classes- of those in power. But isn't every teacher taught at an early stage in their careers that "every child can learn".  According to Gist this is true, so why should it matter.  Children who are not from the culture of power can't succeed in this world?  Can students who are from the culture of power, the middle class, succeed in an inner city school, with a different code of power?  I just feel there is too much blame being passed around today, too many excuses.  How about we teach our students to succceed in life, provide them all with the  necessary skills they need to do well and advance to the next level, regardless of the culture of power.